Happy Birthday Odette

Today is Odette's 11th birthday. I am thankful beyond words today that for the first August 20th since I met her I could walk in her room, wake her up & tell her happy birthday for the first time in person. The last two years have been really hard for me on her birthday but today we are rejoicing that she is finally here for us to celebrate her life. Andy & I are taking her Panera for lunch at school (her choice) then I am taking Odette and Taylor to get a pedicure for their birthdays after school (Odette has been asking for one for months and I kept telling her maybe for her birthday so her first question today was "can I get my feet done today"- I think she will love her surprise!) then she picked Calhouns for the whole family to go eat at tonight for her date night. Tomorrow night we are having a combined family birthday party for Odette & Taylor at my mom & dad's farm.

Thankful

So many things this week reminded me how thankful I am to God that he moved mountains to bring our little girl and some of her friends home and he still continues to be so faithful.

*On Sunday I sat in the first "Haiti Sunday" service at church since Odette came home with her cuddled up beside me watching the videos and like in Haiti her wiping the tears from my face as I cried. I also looked over and two of her Haitian friends are sitting in the floor next to us & then on the other side of us is Wousamy who for the first time since the first trip in 2003 is NOT in the Haiti video up on the screen. GOD IS GOOD!!!

*I am thankful that she trusts me enough to share hard things to hear about her life in Haiti (but then she worries about me when I get upset and doesn't want to make me sad). I told her that even if it makes me sad I still want to know it all so I can share that part of her life with her.

*I am thankful for good news today that we can start the process to finish her adoption and she should be legally ours in a month or two. We also found out that the bill to make all the Humanitarian Parole kids eligible for faster citizenship status has passed the house & the senate and now only needs the President's signature. From what I understand when the adoption is complete we can apply for her citizenship and after it is processed and approved she will be a US citizen and we can apply for her passport (before you had to wait 2 years to even apply for citizenship). I am thankful that I could give my little girl some good news today and if all goes well the two of us can be on a trip in early 2011. Join us in praying for a smooth and speedy final adoption process for all the girls and Wousamy.

6 months ago today

Six months ago today God made it possible for our little girl to come home along with 5 of her friends. I am still amazed and overwhelmed thinking about the miracle that God worked to get them here in His perfect timing. Out of one of the greatest tragedies to happen to Haiti He not only kept them safe, He was faithful to finish the work that we started by saying yes to bringing them home.

I am also amazed that 6 months have already gone by. The days have often gone by slowly but the time still is passing quickly. I can honestly say these 6 months have been some of the best & hardest 6 months of our lives. During the hard days I was often wishing for the days with newborn twins because that seemed a lot easier. Having a new ten year old is work! I love her more than anything and could not be happier that she is finally here but some days are really hard. Luckily as time goes on there are more happy ones than hard ones and we are thankful that now it is usually just hard hours instead of full days. We have been really proud the last few weeks of her ability to "choose to be happy" pretty quickly after being mad instead of choosing to stay mad for the majority of the day. Good days at our house with her are great and so much fun. She makes us laugh all the time, she so is a Coleman girl!!!!

It is definitely a learning process for all of us. The best way I can describe it is she is like a toddler that is testing boundaries to see what is ok and what is not. You wouldn't think that you would have to tell a 10 year old that is not ok to write on themselves with Sharpies but you do. I don't think I have said "we write on paper" so much since Molly's preschool phase of writing on everything except paper.

I have never been so happy for summer to come. I felt like I could finally breathe for the first time in months. I just wanted all of my girls at home with me to enjoy them with nothing scheduled (except Sunday mornings). We have a summer off from school, piano, soccer, 252 practice, etc. We have enjoyed staying up later (ok so we wish the girls would go to bed a little bit earlier) and have really enjoyed sleeping in. We have spent time at the pool, outside, shopping, watching movies, a lot of time playing with friends during the day and even some sleepovers.

The 4 girls are getting along great (well lets say they act like sisters all of the time). The honeymoon period has definitely worn off. When Odette first came Abby & Molly thought she could do no wrong. Abby said the other day in the car when we were by ourselves, "Mommy, I thought that I would never get mad at Odette, but now that I do I guess that just means we really are sisters!". They all love each other one minute and are mad at each other the next minute.

Taylor and Odette decided that they were ready for twin beds in their room instead of sharing a bed (well Taylor decided and talked Odette into it). Odette said at first that she would not get two beds because Taylor is messy and she was not going to "clean" both of their beds each day. Agreeing on twin bedding that they both liked was a big challenge. But they finally decided and we got the beds put up 2 weeks ago. The girls are helping Andy now build headboards for them with shelves on them. Odette has decided though that she doesn't like to sleep alone, even if Taylor is 2 feet away. So most nights Abby sleeps with her. They have all four spent most of the summer sleeping in Abby & Molly's twin beds so now they have just moved into Taylor & Odette's beds. It is sweet that they want to sleep together but it's making the going to sleep time much longer. I dread school starting back!

Odette has trouble sleeping a lot. She has bad dreams about the earthquake often. She doesn't talk about them a lot but will tell me that is what the dreams are about if I ask her. She still has a lot of fears, more lately it seems, some she admits some you can just see. When a big truck goes up our street and kind of shakes the house she gets a nervous look on her face. She now wants a night light in her room to sleep with because her room scares her. Driving under underpasses scares her especially if we stop under one. She is also saying that she doesn't want to go to Fountain City Elementary for school & I just figured out it is the building that scares her because it is so big and old. We have assured her that the school is over 75 years old and nothing has ever happened to it. I am sure she will be better once she is there ever day again but now that is a very real fear for her.

Speaking of school she is SO excited about going back. Last year she only went half days until the last few days of school we let her go a full day just to go through the lunch, playground and pick-up routine. She loved school by the end of the year and was so upset it was finished. The one thing (besides the building) that she is nervous about is that she does not know anyone that will be in fifth grade this year. One thing you can be praying for is that she makes some new friends very quickly. I think that will be a big part of her continuing to love school and her desire to learn. Her school is great and they gave us math workbooks to work on over the summer starting with a kindergarten level up to third grade. She loves doing them and I think it will be a big help this year in school. The plan is that she will go to 5th grade this year and when school first starts they will do some more testing with her to see which math and reading level she is at. So she will be in her own classroom the majority of the day but during math and reading she will go to whichever grade level she is at and will sit in on their class. She will also have ELL class for a hour a day instead of 30 minutes.

Her English amazes us! She speaks English 99% of the time to us. I told her yesterday that she needs to speak to me more in Creole because I am forgetting everything I learned when she came. Her comprehension is also great. At first we would speak in smaller sentences or phrases to her to make sure that she understood us but now we can have complete conversations and she understands it all. Her grammar is a work in progress. She still sounds like a toddler saying "I want to go to she house". But that has progressed because she always used me instead of I before. Now it is working on when to say her instead of she, etc. She is so much more confident than when she first came.

The Monday after school got out we took our first trip to Disney as a family of 6. She was really against going at first. I LOVE Disney if you didn't know. Andy and I started dating there 20 years ago on a band trip in high school. The last time we went as a family I had just gotten back from Haiti and met Odette for the first time. I spent the whole trip wondering "what would the girls at the orphanage think of Disney, would Odette like this ride?" So since we had made the decision to adopt I couldn't wait to take her to Disney. Because our income tax check was bigger than expected we figured we better go while we had the money. Odette could not wrap her head around what vacation would look like. She kept saying "I know it will be fun but I don't want to go". But one day she asked if the room we were staying in would have lots of other people in it and if we had to eat with a bunch of people that we didn't know. We realized then it was not Disney that she was against but the unknown. She kept saying that she would just stay with Mamaw or Kelley. I told her that I would miss her too bad if I left her for 7 days & her response was "Mommy- I lived in Haiti for 10 years". Oh well, I guess she is right but I told her that I was sad for the year and a half I knew her and she wasn't here. She also said that she would miss Leah too much. In the end she finally went & she ended up having a great time. From our trips to Dollywood we knew that she was all about trill rides. The faster the better. She loved Expedition Everest, Rock 'n Roller Coaster, Test Track, and Space Mountain and she also loved some slower rides, her favorites- It's a Small World, Mickeys Philharmonic, Carousel of Progress, Toy Story Mania, Buzz Lightyear, and Peter Pan. Things this trip that made us laugh- she complained a lot about the heat & also would not use the restroom at the rest stop because it smelled bad. HELLO- the girl grew up in Haiti which smells not so pretty and is very hot (especially since she never had air conditioning before). I think she is ready for fall and winter which surprises us since we thought she would hate the cold. Also on vacation she decided that the fold- out couch was uncomfortable so she slept all week in the chair (I think part of that was to see if it would make us mad but we decided we had to pick our battles so we let her sleep in the chair). All in all it was a good vacation and we were glad to finally experience it with all our girls. But we are planning a long parents only long weekend in Disney as soon as we can afford it.

She now has decided that she loves the "cinema" and wants to go all the time. So far this summer we have seen Toy Story 3, Karate Kid and two free movies at Regal on Tuesday mornings. Karate Kid made her laugh so hard in parts that I am sure they heard her in the next theater. Wow that girl is LOUD!!!

She has told us that American food is much better and the only thing she really liked in Haiti was white rice with black bean sauce on the side. She likes most everything here (although most things she says she likes a "little bit"), but her new favorite is chicken casserole. She knows we only have it when daddy is not going to be home for dinner because he doesn't eat it so now she asks now "when does Daddy have a meeting all night" because she knows I will fix chicken casserole for her.

She talks daily about going back to Haiti. She really misses her family, her friends and her country. I asked early on if she wanted to go stay and she said "NO, I want to go visit then I am coming home". I love that she knows where home is but I also love her love for her country. She calls Eddy, our friend in Haiti that is helping with our paperwork, to see if he has been "working for her today". Right now her adoption still is not final and it is looking that it may be faster to adopt through the US. The big issue is that under normal laws she would not be a citizen for 2 years and will not be able to travel to Haiti until then. For a little girl who says at least once a day if not more "Mommy- I need to go to Haiti" two years is a long time. There is a bill that they are hopefully going to pass soon that will shorten this process to about 6- 8 months. Please be praying that this passes or something else happens to speed up the process. Most days I completely understand her desire to go to Haiti because I miss it terribly too. At this point I am going to try to wait to take my next trip until I can take her with me. Andy has a trip planned in September and she is very excited that he gets to go love on her friends and see her family.

Odette has been making bracelets and selling them for $1 to raise money to send to Haiti. Right now she is at $407 and is so excited that she can help her country in this way. We have spent many hours this summer on my bed watching NCIS (her new favorite show) and making bracelets.

Sorry for the lack of posts the last few months and the length of this one. Hopefully this has caught you up some on our crazy life.

Never Forgotten

Today would have been Atanie Laurient's 5th birthday. It is amazing to me how many lives that this little girl touched in her four short years & also the lives that she continues to touch. I will forever be grateful for the 4 weeks I got to spend with Atanie. From the first day when I met that sweet little girl standing at the top of the orphanage stairs in her unbuttoned preemie size onsie sticking out of the top of her skirt, to the truck ride to Coq Chante on January 11th- I will cherish every minute together. I am especially thankful for the last week that I spent with her. We had some really special times when I stayed behind with the little girls while the team went on walks with the older girls. I don't know how many times I heard her & Guerline chant that week "Allyson, Allyson mwen pa gen sandals (I don't have sandals)". That big smile, precious laugh & the way she would wink at you will always be with me. The last night we spent at Camatin was one of the most fun times I ever spent with her. She was so full of life that night and we all spent time laughing and playing with her.

Odette misses Atanie more than I can say. She is still grieving for her but has spent a lot of time writing to her which I think is part of the healing process for her. Each letter she writes to her breaks my heart but none more the line "God love Atanie for me please."

To learn more about Atanie and be a part of the legacy that she is leaving behind please take a minute to visit www.atanieshope.org. The video of her saying "I want to say thank you" was taken at Camatin the last night we were with her.

Odette Baptism

Yesterday was a big day for all of our family. For me it was a big reminder of God's bigness. Along the adoption journey I have set little goals for the day Odette would come home; by school starting, by Thanksgiving, by Christmas and the last goal I set in my mind and asked God for was by Spring Break. I know these goals were silly but it made the waiting not seem quite as bad as originally thinking she would not be home until Spring 2010 when we started the process in November 2008. As I made my new goal of Spring Break I asked God for that knowing that it would have to be a God thing to get her here then. Reading others time-lines I knew this would be a big deal to get her home in less than a year after our papers finally got to Haiti. I was reminded yesterday that God had a bigger plan than I could have ever imagined in place. Not only was she home on January 23, 2010 she got to step off a plane with 4 of her "sisters" & Wousamy. Not only was she home by Spring Break, she talked to us last week about her desire to be baptized on Sunday and then did a video recording in almost complete English. The bigness of God and his plans amazed me yesterday and made me so thankful for his special timing for these 6 children and I can't wait to see the plans that He has for the other 12 girls unfold in the near future.

Easter Bunny

If you need a good laugh today here it is. Last week at English class Kevin told the girls about the Easter Bunny. He told them about this big bunny that was going to come into their house while they are sleeping and leave them an Easter basket. So for the last week Odette can't quit talking about it. She says if she wakes up in the middle of the night & sees the Easter Bunny (which when she says it it usually comes out as "Mister" Bunny) that she is going to kick him.

We were at the mall eating yesterday & she looked over the railing & said "Mommy what is that". I told her it was the Easter Bunny. She started laughing & said "I thought you & Kevin monte me (lied to me)". She couldn't eat her lunch because she was so busy watching him so I asked if she wanted to go down & see him & have her picture made & she said yes because she had to show her friends. At the last minute she almost chickened out but I finally convinced her to sit down (it makes me laugh how far apart they are) but it turned out to be a good picture of her & she said "Mommy I am beautiful today" (which is such a big step because everytime we tell her she is beautiful she says no!".

Update- Finally

Sorry to those of you who check often for updates, I think daily about writing on here but then there are not enough hours in the day lately. Please bear with us as we learn what the new "normal" looks like in our lives. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support not just since the earthquake and Odette coming home but also through our entire journey to bring her home. Life now all seems like before the earthquake and after the earthquake. My trip to Haiti Jan. 4-11 now seems like a lifetime ago. It is hard to believe that Odette has now been home for over 7 weeks. Sometimes it seems that it hasn't been long and other days it seems like she has been here forever. She just fits in our family- she is definitely a Coleman girl.

Things I love:
*listening to Abby & Molly speak Creole to her
*listening to Taylor & Odette giggling in their bed together at night
*hearing her sweet Haitian voice singing in the other room
*watching her daddy swing her around and listening to the laugh it brings
*watching her experience each new thing
*knowing my whole family is safely tucked in bed under one roof each night
*helping her with her English & getting to watch her confidence grow
*listening to her and her friends speaking Creole to each other
*being around her when she is silly
*getting to hug & kiss her whenever I want (even if she fusses about it)
*seeing her walking down the hall at church- we have talked about it forever & it is really happening now
*that she is is home sick today & when she woke up from a nap she came & climbed in my lap and sat there a while

Firsts:
*water-fountains
*escalators, elevators, automatic doors
*automatic soap dispensers and air hand-driers
*cold weather
*snow
*going to the mall
*trying on clothes at a store
*warm bath & shower
*cold water out of the refrigerator door
*having a choice of what she wants to eat
*a warm house & air-conditioning
*computers
*microwaves
*riding a bike
*a playground to play on
*drive-thrus
*drawers full of clothes (she changes at least twice daily)
*a zoo full of animals that she had never seen & some never heard of
*swimming in a swimming pool
*ice skating (which she LOVES)
*seeing a washer & dryer
*using a vacuum cleaner (she tried to use the broom on the living room carpet so Taylor showed her how to use the vacuum cleaner)
*a potty that you flush each time you use it & plenty of toilet paper (we have had a record number of stopped-up potties in the last 7 weeks)
*trip to Krogers (she loves the "market" and wants to just walk around and look more when we finish shopping)
*valentine's day cards (try to explain valentines day to someone that just moved to America)
*trip to the movie theater
*singing & dancing on stage for Studio 252 at church
*trip to the Sunsphere

Communication
* is getting better every day. Our Creole is slowing getting better and her English is growing by leaps and bounds every day. Last night, Andy & I talked about how she is now speaking to us almost completely in English. Every once and a while there is a word that she doesn't know that we have to work to find out what she is trying to say but for the most part we understand each other.
*She has been working through the emotions of not only the earthquake but her life in Haiti before she came here. The more comfortable she feels with us the more she is beginning to share. We have learned that she was in the city at a house right next door to her aunt & uncle. She was with her mom, dad, brother & sister (they live in the city while they are going to school) & her cousin that lives near her parents in Coq Chante. She said she was scared and that a big rock fell on her leg. Her aunt, uncle and cousin were all killed during the earthquake an she was there when it happened. She says Port-au-Prince is bad and there were dead bodies everywhere. They started walking not long after the earthquake and walked until the next afternoon when they arrived at home. She has talked about how scary and bad Port-au-Prince is in the dark. I have ridden through there at night in a truck & it was bad enough- I can't imagine walking at night especially in the middle of a natural disaster. She has told us about the big blisters she had on her feet after walking that far. She told us that Eddy is the one that called and told her about Atanie dying. She said she cried and she also cried when she saw the orphanage. She is dealing with Atanie's death as best as she can. She wants to watch the video that Andy made for Lorie that has a bunch of pictures of Atanie all the time & talks about how Atanie is with Jesus.

*School
-For the first 6 weeks Odette stayed home with me. We would work on English during the day as we had time & mostly this just gave her time to adjust to her new life. She would go & sit in her desk in her classroom for a few hours on Fridays when I would volunteer. She got the point that she would ask every night if she would get to go to school with Taylor so we decided that she was finally ready. Because she has only been in school for 2 years consistently since she went to the orphanage in Feb. 2008 she is pretty far behind academically. She is going to 5th grade with Taylor and will repeat 5th grade again next year. This year is just to be immersed in the English language, learning the routine of school with Taylor there to help and for the social interaction. Right now she is just going until 11:15 which is 1/2 day (she started on March 5th). While she is there she gets 30 minutes with the English Language Learners teacher. So far she loves school, especially time in the classroom & ELL. She is struggling a little with the special area classes- gym, music & art. She has never had this many different teachers before so it is a learning experience for us all. Her school has been so great and supportive through this process and we really appreciate that they truly care for her and our family.
-Odette, Islande and Benita also have English class each Tuesday, Thursday, & Friday nights for an hour which is also a great help. We are very grateful to Ms. Rebecca for all of her time.
-Odette, Wousamy, Valancia & Islande are taking swim lessons each Tuesday & Thursday afternoon. They are all fearless and will be great swimmers by the summer.

Favorite foods:

Chicken, pork, hamburgers, fish, steak, rice, fruit (mangos, pineapple, apples, & bananas especially), vanilla ice cream, cinnamon toast crunch, cinnamon rolls, water, sprite & coke, ice cream sandwiches, popcorn, spaghetti, baked potatoes

Does not like:

Vegetables (except corn & lettuce), pizza, yogurt, milkshakes, not crazy about chocolate

The other girls:
*The girls still enjoy spending as much time together as they can. At first they just wanted to check out each others houses to make sure that everyone was being taken care of. Every time that we got together Odette would pack a bag of various items to share with the other girls including coke, crunch and munch, capri-suns, mangoes, apples, pineapple and my favorite was the can of chicken that Benita brought to Odette. That stopped for the most part after the first couple of weeks so I guess they see that their friends really are taken care of and have the same kinds of things that they have at their houses to eat.
*We have had many playdates, sleepovers and their time together at church, swim lessons, and English lessons really have been a big help to their adjusting to their new life. I love how much they love each other & am so thankful for God's goodness in bringing them all here together.

Our newest family member:
*we added our newest member Callie, a 7 week old yorkie poo on March 4th. This was a Christmas present for the girls and we never imagined that Odette would be home before we found a puppy. I am glad that she has been here to be a part of the process. She only has met a couple of dogs that she likes so we were afraid that she wouldn't like the puppy at all. She has done really well with her so far & likes her most of the time.

Emotions:
*this is the hardest part of the whole homecoming & something we would appreciate prayer for. Haitians for the most part don't show a lot of emotion. In a county that daily life is so hard you being sad or mad is really a low priority. There are times when Odette just completely shuts down, we know that she is either sad or mad but getting to the bottom of the problem takes a lot of work. She has probably never been questioned about what is wrong before when she goes off by herself. We are trying to teach her that that is part of being a family, that we are her parents and we really do care about what has made her sad or mad. There have been many tears shed worrying about her and just wanting to be able to get through to her. For the most part this is getting better but there are still days that are hard. But God did not promise this would be easy, he just asked for obedience and is walking with us every step of the way. We are just trying to keep the lines of communication as open as we can & try to be aware of when she is headed into one of the moods so we can stop it before it gets too far. One night last week she refused to talk to us for hours before bed other than to say that she was sad & that she would not tell us why. This continued into bedtime and the next morning & when she finally decided to tell us that she was "sad at me because I told her we would look at Haiti videos later & I forgot". I even mentioned this the night before & she wouldn't admit that was what was wrong. So this part of the journey is taking a lot of patience, understanding, prayer, and just standing firm so she knows this is what being what a family looks like and her moods will not make us love her any less.

I am sure there are many things that I have left out but I will continue to update as I think of them. I will also post some pictures in the next few days.

Allyson